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Hmmm , tik tok tik tok ~ now I realize the time is 12.06pm . 12th of March . Once again the memories flash back . Those moment , those tears just can't stop , those pain those sorrowness just so unbearable . Told myself millions of time , I gonna make it , at least let go bit by bit . Once I thought I manage to , once I thought I succeed , I seriously thought .

I know I need to stay strong , there is too much people I need to take care of . At your funeral , I swear to you , I promise I will take care of your mom , I will stay strong I will stay tough . Thats the only reason why I struggle till this stage . I know you wouldn't wan to see me fall , no one does , I know .

Sometimes , I do blame , blame about everything . Why I have to face all these . You know how hard to say goodbye . Especially to your love one . How hard to stay positive while everything in life turn you down .

I am sorry cause I fail again this year on this day . 2 years , and I still can't make it . Please forgive me for being such a weakling . I just can't forget the moment when I see your face from the outside of the coffin glass , the moment I pick up your bones , the moment I see you from an awesome cousin turned into ashes . I can't make it , at least now , no .