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Friday, March 26, 2010

Helpless yet Useless

[ i can freakkin fake a smile huh ]

" Am i a good person , am i a good friend ? " This question come across my mind millions of time last night . Yesterday was a tough day for me , i am mentally and physically tired . Having class whole day until 6 something , and at night have to attend the freakkin so-called-charity-concert . D_a_r_n >.<

So many things happen yesterday night during the VELVET CONCERT . *ouch* for once i thought i will heart attack and die =_= too much surprice for me that day =( He reveal the truth to me [ sorry no further disclosed ] , which i dont know how to react . I wanted to help him so much that i was actually mad at myself when i realised i cant do anything =(

Well you know , he is a best friend of mine , I dont wanna see he hurts , I dont wanna see he upset . I cant bear see he falling like this . Heart seriously ache when i see him like this . =( When he have a hearty talk with me at the staircase , tears in his eye , I cant bear with it . I tried so hard not to cry too , I dont want to burden him , I dont want him to feel sorry . Instead i pass him tissue , and gently pat on his shoulder .

After that talk which i think last about one hour plus , we go back to our gang . And found out that another friend of mine called by her ex for a talk . I have no idea where she is that time , her phone died coz out of battery . I am freakkin panic that time , what i did is dial her ex bf number . He told me he at 5th floor , having a talk with her , he said things have to be settled tonight . Without a second of delay , i rush to 5th floor without telling anyone about this . I was so scared that time . >.<

When i reach there , I saw both of them , standing there , she saw me and she started to cry . He was standing there , keep on scolding her . *ouch* Again , my heart shattered . ='( seriously i dono what to do that time , i wish i could just pull her and run >.<>

but then he sudd walk and stand beside me , which give her a chance to run away . It just happen like this unexpectedly . He shouted : " Stand there , dont run ! " , and me , I just chase after her , but then sudd I think if I chase her means he will chase too . Then I changed my plan , I slowed down , and blocked him . I actually pull his sleeve and beg him let her go =(

When I cant hear her footstep banging on the floor anymore , I leave him there . I told him , what you did make you like a woman , be a man and let her go . Then i actually walk off . Went to the carpark , waited beside her car . When she appears , my heart torn again . She was crying and nothing I can do except ask her to go home 1st . I am so useless huh .


Back to the hall , I saw my best friend , was there emo again . Sigh I was so tired . I just manage to go and sit beside him , and I cant squeeze out anything to say . Then another friend of mine text me and said he went back 1st due to another emo matters . *ouch*

Its hurt you deep down the heart when there is nothing you can do to help your friend , but just stay there watch them struggling .

I gotta do something .


  1. at least u tried to help...sometime's in life, there's nothing much you can do except being there to support their fall

  2. yeah =)
    what i can do is just stand by their side
    do anything i could =)
    thanks fiona

  3. u already is helping them..
    dun blame urself~
    by doin few action above,is already proven tat u r helping them..
    so dun blame urself already..
    cheer up~!

  4. thanks alot jim =)
    i am trying my best ^_^

  5. wow.. ur frens are real emo... =x

  6. you're a good friend, think no more...
    give them your support, be with them! :)

  7. shaz yeah he is the emo type
    but he never fail to make me laugh too =)

    w3ndee thanks girl =)
    i have doing this all the while ^^

  8. erm ..... sound so complicated ... but good luck in making everything nicely :)