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Thursday, March 11, 2010

Send my regards to the heaven =(

seriously , i effing hate march . march is the month i lost my beloved cousin sister , Janice Saw . my heart break when i get the news . seriously , it hurts me deeply . She just 20 yrs old , and because of a b*stard , she and her bf lost their life .

after one year , i still cant freakkin let go . i miss her every moment . to me , she is a friend , to me , she is a sister . i am so close to her since i was young , although i stayed in hong kong before that , but i did come to msia and visit her every year . i get even closer to her when i moved to msia . we share laughter we share sadness we share secrets . which guy is hot , which b*tch we hate in school . we share almost everthing . =(

just because of the b*stard that claim himself as their friend , they are gone . Janice was dead . Lup mun , her bf , unable to survive too . wtffff , the accident will not happen if not him . if he din't speed and cause the car lost control , they won't died . if he din't act like jay chou drift in the f*cking narrow turning , they won't died ! ='[ who the hell he think he is , why . . . i just feel like go straight to his face and give him a big slap . wth , he don't deserve it . he didn't even hurt a single bit in the accident . its so unfair isn't it , why not he is the one who die . he is the one who drive hazardly . he is the one who should go to hell ~ ! =(((

5th of march , janice saw's birthday .


Me : biu jie ~ ! happy birthday yeah ` ! so sorry i cant celebrate with you . =] anyway , happy birthday and enjoy ~ !

Janice : awww , thanks my dear . its ok , we can spend some time together next time . oh yeah hows your result ?
Me : nahh , i haven get my results yet , its on 12th of march . i am so nervous wei ! >.<

Janice : don't worry , i got confidence in you , sure can get a very good result wan =) must inform me once you get your results ya ~ ! ^^

Me : no problem ~ ! sure i will , hope its a good news ^_^

Janice : ok ok , hey gtg , going out now , mun is here =) catch up with you later , bye honey ~ =*

Me : sure , send my regards to ah mun gor gor =) enjoy yeah , bye .

this was the last time in talk to her before the accident . she said she gonna catch up with me later , she ask me to tell her my good news later . but she passed away on the day i got my result . i don't even have a chance to tell her that i did it , i got a very good result . i should be happy isn't it . but ends up i burst into tears when i got the news that she was dead , and i cant even stop when i get my result . why cant you wait for me =( i haven't tell you that , i scored all As for my exams . i cant . . . i don't have the chance anymore . i can't believe that you are dead when i got your brother's call , i thought that was a jokes , how foolish am ! =( how much i wish its a jokes .

sorry ppl i cant continue anymore . night


  1. I understand how you feel. Seriously 3 years back I had a bf that passed away in an accident as well. Tears flow down my cheek as I read your story. My hands are still shaking on the keyboard now.
    How I wish things won't happen this way that hurt us so badly. That exactly what I felt.
    That moment I wish I can be in the car dying together with him too. But now I realized that I am here to stay to move on and continue our dream.
    I guess the bf will be very sad too as he caused the death of his beloved. Sometime in our life, learning how to forgive is a big thing.
    Coz I used to blame myself over my bf death, if wasn't because I asked him to find me that night, he wouldn't has meet the accident. But his family didn't blame me at all for his death.
    Death is something where we need a lot of courage and effort also time to face.

    Sorry for the extra long comment.

  2. your comment touches me , supia .
    thats not her bf causing her dealth .
    is another person , who cause both of them died together .
    maybe its still a good thing that they can together in another world .
    but i just couldn't help it and i miss her so much .
    i am so sorry hearing that you have such a bad memory too .
    i knew that i have to carry on . i have to be tough . i promise janice that i wil be a tough girl and i wil help her take care her mother .
    as i promise , i wil do it

  3. Take it easy.. you will be fine... and be TOUGH..
    she will not want you to be sad..

  4. im sorry to hear about the lost.. must have affected you alot.. be strong always and take care..

  5. I'm sorry to hear about that. My condolences. Mmm..Take it easy, I think your good friend doesn't want to see you unhappy in the heaven too...

  6. awww , its ok its ok
    but that is my cousin sis
    not my good friend >.<

  7. May God bless you and comforts you in your loss, regardless any faith you believe in. Yeap, drivers - speeding kills driving skills. It's really not necessary to dash himself that quick just to show that you're fast and skillful, specially if he's taking passengers, for there's responsibility on the driver to make sure they reach their destination safe.

  8. thank you victor
    the driver speed because he is in a bad mood after a fight with his gf .
    now i even have a phobia with those driver that speed , the sounds of engine make me uncomfortable >.<

  9. Hi dear, eventhou they're gone, they are still in your heart and mind, it means they're still living in your memories.

    Cherish the time and memories you had with your cousin, Jancie.

    Hope you'll feel better after awhile.

  10. merrinette , yeah you are right , they wil remain in my heart forever and ever . they maybe no longer here , but the memories wil never fade . thanks for concerning merrinette =)

  11. Aww.. *Hugs*
    Be strong and move on :)

  12. thank you xiao pei
    i will =)

  13. take care girl...think of it positively...may be both of them are happily together in the heaven now. :-)

  14. yeahhh ,
    they married in the funeral .
    wondering are they having any children now . =)

  15. it's really sad to love someone you just talked to recently and the next day they weren't there. It's scary but life is fragile. So live life to the fullest.

    Though I think I should do the same.

  16. yeah , we can never predict what gonna happen in the future .
    so dont even waste a single minute =)

  17. There must a good reason when something happen....